In every curtain call ...

I've been having difficulty writing, and I don't know why.  I feel a bit of divide because my mind thinks that I have the reason to write but my heart seems coiled.   Call it plain drain?

Me and my mama on our first family dinner in 2015

But, I guess there are certain images in life that will always warm the hearts.  Such as this -

Call it the look of joy, the look of reassurance, the look of peace  ... or the look of being in the moment. Mama's presence in the family always paints everything to us despite the physical distance.  When she tells us stories (owned and borrowed) she carries its message in full - like trying to solve a Rubik's Cube.  She touches all sides and moves it around until it is back to its original look. In every story, she sees to it that we don't miss the truth and only carry what it offers us best.  Her stories tend to shut up that nagging voice within- not enough down time, being away from the family and close friends, no green backyards to comb, higher cost of living and so on.  Oh, the heart can actually nag endlessly.

But, with you mama I'm grateful because no matter what a situation brings you always help us find the way that will burst us in us echoes of laughter and decimates negativity.

For this year, I wish that in all all journeys that I start and end, I can always wear your steadfastness, cool and positivity.

Grateful sooo grateful to have you as our friend but more than as the best mother that we could have.

The uncolored parts that give a table for two ...

"A Few More Hours"  by hubby / Medium: Watercolour

This year is perhaps hubby's most productive year.  He's painted at least 4 commissioned works and painted 2 others for the Singapore Watercolour Society.  I'm the most happy for him because I finally got to see him warming up with his best tool - watercolour and I saw his original and best palette at play. 

But this year is not only highlighted by his works but how this journey has drawn us closer each day. The piece above is one reminder that while we both love the arts we appreciate it so differently. When he was working on "A Few More Hours" he would always ask for my comments.  His questions can start from "Which glue to use to assemble his DIY frame" ... to "Can you see and feel the texture of his cap?" ...to the intensity of the colors ... and then to the final question on what do I see in the image.  In our conversations I realized that we learn to loosen up and we feel welcomed.  There were pockets of stiff disagreements on colors and expressions but at the end of every conversation, even if we don't necessarily agree with each other ... we both felt satisfied realizing that we discover something new with each other (even if it's just about associating colours and emotions).  

I figured, those moments that made us open up and speak our minds and hearts out are those when we talked about the uncolored and unfinished part of his painting.  I guess in that sense we've grown together as a couple because the entire conversation felt like we can talk about unfamiliar things without feeling the stress of expectations for a perfect answer. 

Indeed the uncolored parts of his works gave us the best table for two.

Here are other moments of great conversations with my best partner mi pptz ...

A statement of "Full of Potential" ...

Hubby's workstation and a statement of 'full of potential'

Hubby asked me to help assemble words to describe / wrap his next watercolour piece. This is not the first time that he's approached me for such a request or rather invitation (cos he thinks that as partners we should help each other).  Honestly, it took me years to get used to this arrangement ... and still is adjusting.  Do I like it?  In the past NO but I'm beginning to like it now.  Why?  Because true enough this gives us the chance to partner for something beautiful and beyond the ordinary days... He paints... he pricks his brain ... he makes himself vulnerable ... he pauses ... he talks a bit ... he dissolves into his subject ... he comes back gasping and at times hurt or confused ... but most importantly he always comes back true to his subject.

and my role is to help him rearrange his words so that hopefully they will flow smoothly and be in harmony with the colors that he's mastered.

So here we go ...

back to my notebook ... snatch

Keeping it clear down under ...

a half-underwater shot that I took last year using an underwater cam.  That's my cousin

 

I always think that activities underwater keep us level-headed.  We drop all our pretenses and simply focus on how not to drown.  In fact all our body parts including the littlest part of our intestine tend to float as well.  We feel as if we are weightless.

A common evening scene near my block.  When everyone rushes home ... 

Another typical night near my block is to see people rushing home.  Everyone tend to look flat and exhausted.  Then you see this - one driving one backriding.  I wonder how does one wheel yourself after a long day and still accommodate another weight (same weight or double your weight?). 

How do we keep it clear down under?

Junior Superman...

Last weekend, I busied myself cleaning my stack of cloth swatches and loose beads. As i stated to clear the clutter, an idea struck my imagination  ... it all started from the light captured and reflected unto a small plastic and transparent small bead and a piece of paper-cloth.  It all started there but ended with one story - that I called "Junior Superman" ... it looked like this ...

Light and Melody Tint

When you try to hold light ...

When you try to find the melody ... / Iphone4

those days when words are folded and time tries to be thrift...

When we hold hands ...

"Hands" a commissioned watercolour painting by my hubby

I have been meaning to write about the recent commissioned painting by my hubby.  Those 'hands' ...

It took me some time to get started because I was not sure if it is proper to share it in public space much more wrap it with my words.  After all, it's a commissioned piece.  It is not ours.  Hubby was just given the privilege to journey with the owner who also happens to be a friend.

I pushed aside the thought of writing about it.  And chose to admire it from afar.  It remained still for a couple of days but not for long.

Each time I look at it, I hear the voice of a mother telling her son that it is okay to explore the world because his steps are covered by strong hands.  And, each time she recounts this conversation with her son, I could see a woman who  did not necessarily have a smooth journey in life but made strong and whole by circumstances and people who genuinely care for her. 

I did ask my friend why choose 'hands'.  Her answer was firm and clear - she said she wished her son will grow up knowing the importance of family, friends, trust, support, and belongingness.

Thus, the 'hands' that hold... that hold us. 

Color Study

Whose hands hold yours when ...
* you are hurting
* you get promoted
* promises are broken
* you are put in charge
* you are unable to deliver
* betrayal comes
* you are unsure
* you close a deal

I do hope you have those hands and hold close.

After all, no one is born alone.  No one is left empty handed.

When you hold that hand, tell your story ...

P.S Thank you dear friend for allowing me to tell that story here :))